The Remedial Son - Conclusion?

I have gained 2 lbs, all due to the pints of Häagan Dazs Ice Cream that came rolling in. Can I sue Haagan Dazs for the weight gain?

But it’s not about me, it’s about L. Well, actually, it’s about my reaction to L’s issue. After conversations with: one specialist, one school principal, one husband, and multiple friends, we have come to the conclusion that there is nothing “wrong” with L. He is simply on the late side of the curve.

What tipped the scale? A comment from my husband, while having a conversation with L’s principal: “Ya know,” he said “if we were having this conversation last year, it would have been about reading.” I was dumbfounded.

My husband had walked into my head, turned on the fan and blew out all the dense fog.

Last March, my son was “behind in school standards” for reading and didn’t seem much inclined to change his standing. For him, reading served no real purpose, especially since we read to him. Then one day we got Dragon Ball Z. When we couldn’t read it to him as often as he liked, he found a reason to read. Now, he’s reading above grade level. Ya know, it hasn’t even been a year yet! Whether or not this happens to his writing doesn’t even matter. He’ll get it. I know he will. Watch, he’ll be the next Thoreau or Langston Hughes at which point I will look back on this and laugh.

After my husband’s insightful comment, I struggled to write. I was full with embarrassement.

Did I over react? Did I just humiliate myself? I mean after all, L doesn’t appear to have any real learning issues. Why didn’t I remember to defend my son? Why did I just roll over and wail? Since when have I taken what “experts” say so seriously?

After the woe is me party, I asked myself a question I need to ask more often, especially around parenting. Did I do anyone any real harm by my reaction? Judging from most of the comments, all the personal emails I received PLUS the ice cream, I think not.

For me, the fear of being “real” is that I am the only one with these particular thoughts, and foe and friend alike will stand in a circle, pointing at me, cackling cruelly. The reality of letting it all hang out is I inadvertently shared a common anguish or something like that. I can’t really put my finger on it, but that last entry…went all over the world, England, Australia, France, Columbia, Brazil and Dubai. Plus three countries I had to look up. So, obviously I was not alone in my chick flick, ice cream eating, just love me mood. It felt so damn good to shut down like that.

The other truth of being real is that people want to help. Being on the receiving end of a lending hand, especially one with ice cream, feels really, really nice. Not a luxury commonly allowed among mothers. We should all take more advantage of it.

Hmm, there’s a lesson somewhere in all this. Keep the comments coming.


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